The Student's In-Class Assignment

School Camp[u1] 

By Tewarat Siprihanus

            School camp [u2] was the most exciting experience I have had[u3] . It began when I was at form 3 [u4] in Elementary school. On that time, I was participated the school camp who organized by school faction. [u5] It was held at the month of March [u6] in the Abai Island. I enroll [u7] myself to join because it was compulsory for student’s form [u8] 3, 5 and 6. Other than that, [u9] I want to join because it was my first school camp that I ever attend[u10] . Because the place for the school camp was interesting many students from another class have joined it[u11] . Moreover, it was held at the school holiday[u12] .

            On day one, the journey was started. The , Abai Island that we want to go was far away from my hometown. [u13] It was placed on Kinabatangan River and amongst the longest river in Sabah[u14] . It took about three hours to get in there. Because the place was far away we started in the journey the morning. [u15] When arrived definitely in afternoon, I was surprised because Abai Island is not surrounded by ocean but by river. On the Island we gathered [u16] 

Corrector: Anselmus Sudirman, S.Pd.,M.Hum.

A lecturer at English Education Department of Sarjanawiyata Tamansiswa University Yogyakarta

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 [u1]The School Camping

 [u2]The school camping…

 [u3]… had ever had.

 [u4]…I was a third grader …

 [u5]…in the school camping that was organized by the school faction.

 [u6]It was held in March on Abai Island.

 [u7]enrolled…

 [u8]…students of grades 3, 5, and 6. 

 [u9]Besides,…

 [u10]I wanted to join it because I knew that it would be my first school camping experience. 

 [u11]As the school camping site was interesting, many students from another class were fond of joining it. 

 [u12]…it was held on the school holiday.

 [u13]One day, we started our journey to the island that is far away from my hometown. 

 [u14]It is located on Kinabatang River, one of the longest rivers in Sabah. 

 [u15]Since the destination was so far, we decided to start our journey in the morning.

 [u16]Arriving there in the afternoon, what made me surprised was the fact that Abai Island is not surrounded by ocean but by a river. We gathered and….

NOTE:

1.       You have to mention more specific details,  who said what, how you felt, what you knew about the Island’s unique flora or even fauna, what is the history, what is your recommendation for other visitors.

2.        Try to use new words that enrich your writing style, limit the use of similar words several times, for example, BECAUSE.

3.        Your title should be changed, please choose the one that represents the substance of your story thoroughly.

4.        Most of all, I am proud that you have tried hard to express your thoughts. I appreciate your efforts. Thanks a lot.  

5.        PLEASE MOVE ON, MAKE WRITING A HABIT.